Police or scammer? ‘take your f-ing hands off me’, I tell him

Years later I arrive in style

Budapest is home to two million people and transport choices are confusing so I’m pleased an English guy who is at the same home-stay has shown me the way here. ‘Will we find our way back without him?’ I wonder as I join the line of people at the ticket office. We’ve travelled from suburban Budapest to this castle-like building on the edge of the Danube: the journey – by bus, metro then trolleybus – baffled me.

Underground tunnels, where I lose all sense of direction, lead to the metro station where men and women were standing, almost silently, with their meagre goods for sale. Underwear, jackets, baby clothes, food, all held up to our gaze: only the eyes of the sellers asking us to buy. Their silence is daunting: their poverty makes me ashamed that yesterday I stole a train ride from this city, in a country that’s just emerged from a communist regime.

I was travelling by underground to a posh hotel for an all-you-can-eat afternoon tea when I didn’t buy a ticket – and was caught. Leaving the station two Aussies and I were approached by three or four inspectors. ‘Tickets’ they snap and we search our pockets for the non-existent items. I feel guilty, then intimidated, when they tell us we will have to pay an exorbitant fine. ‘We have no money on us,’ I lie.

‘I will call the police. You have to pay,’ said heavy number one. His dark-haired, surly partner joins in.

‘Give me your passports; I will see if our supervisor will let you pay less.’

‘I haven’t got my passport with me,’ wails one of the young women.

I don’t carry mine around either then suddenly memory warning-bells clang at the mention of passports and I recall being cautioned about such a fraud. ‘Be careful of bogus ticket inspectors,’ our bus driver had said, ‘they run scams to get money.’ My brain tells me that genuine inspectors would not be asking for passports.’ These guys are not for real, I’m not paying’ I say, ‘let’s go,’ and turn to walk off.

‘Stop! Stay here!’ shouts one of the heavies and grabs my wrist.

‘Take your fucking hand off me.’ With a quick flick that amazingly removes his grip, I walk towards the exit. An Aussie races past me, a moment later the other does the same while I continue in the same measured, but fearful pace – expecting the police or heavies to grab me at any second. Relieved to see my young friends waiting at the top of the stairs, I burst into hysterical laughter. ‘Boy, you two can run!’

‘Take your fucking hand off me,’ they mimic. ‘Wait until we tell the others what you said. No one will believe you’d talk like that.’

‘Well I know I’ll buy tickets in future. That was scary!’

Excerpt from Naked in Budapest: travels with a passionate nomad by Heather Hapeta – the kiwitravelwriter

Cruise, explore, moan!

Some individuals are just not people you want to travel with, well, not for long anyway as they seem to just cruise, explore and moan. I met some of them on a river cruise from Amsterdam to Budapest: fortunately they were not part of the small I was with as their tour leader.

A virgin-cruiser, I was looking forward to two weeks on a longboat. I could see me unpacking, shoving the bag under my bed until it was time to leave, then lying on the sundeck. I imagined watching life pass by as we leisurely sailed through five European countries; exploring old cities; world heritage sites, and watching water pour into, or gush out of, locks. It’s not often a dream trip exceeds expectations but this one did.

I join the Njord in Amsterdam

I loved this ‘Grand European Tour’ with all the connotations the name suggests, luxury, leisure and indulgence, such as the traditional tours of Europe undertaken by rich, upper-class young men. Their grand tour served as an educational rite of passage, precursors to the “Cook’s Tour” that later allowed people of lessor status and money to travel. Those grand tours could last from many months to several years and was commonly undertaken in the company of a Cicerone, a knowledgeable guide or tutor.

Our Cicerone came in the form of Darinka, a constant ball of energy who, as programme director, co-ordinated all excursions and our on-board activities. When anyone lagged she reminded us, ‘this is a cruise, not a holiday’ – we had places to see, things to do!

Perhaps Torstein Hagen (CEO, Viking Cruises) was right when, earlier in the year (April 2012) at the blessing of this longboat, he defined ocean cruises as ‘a drinking man’s cruise’ and river cruises as ‘a thinking man’s cruise’. Our lectures and demonstrations put old and current Europe in context. Many of the moaners did not attend these talks, or else talked throughout them.

The Viking Njord, named for the Norse god of the wind, was on its 5th trip and I savoured life on this fabulous 5-star floating hotel. Early each morning I joined a few others on deck where, with our cameras, coffee and straight-from-the-oven, pre-breakfast pastries, we watched Europe come to life: fishermen on the banks; cyclists using riverside trails and birdsong welcoming the new day. Others on board were doing the same from the balcony in their cabins.

We had walking tours daily with local guides, while others came on board to give talks, demonstrations or concerts. Some did not value them ‘We live near Las Vegas and can see better shows than this any night of the week’ one couple told me.

So, it seems river cruising is not for everyone, and some passengers who take regular ocean cruises told me will not do another river cruise. It’s personality-driven. If you like to be entertained all the time with movies, dances, casino, and 24 hour food, river cruising may not be for you. I also heard complaints about ‘no beauty-shop or hairdresser’ and even, ‘too many cobblestones’ on our excursion and, ‘too many locks’. Perhaps they had not read the website, or didn’t realise that water cannot flow uphill.

Travelling up or down about sixty locks was for most of us, fascinating. I often heard someone say ‘there’s a boat going down ahead of us’. Luckily it was merely being lowered into the next part of a river or canal – not sinking! The trip was some 1600 kilometres up the Rhine, Main, and Danube rivers, and along the Main-Danube Canal. Over the 600 kilometres that needed locks we climbed over 400 metres.

As communities grew around rivers, and the dock was the heartbeat of the area, Europe is perfect for cruising as we usually stopped right in the centre of the old city or town. This meant as we crossed the gangplank our guided walk started immediately; sometimes we travelled by buses to fairy-tale castles perched on hills overlooking the river.

On tours and with our guide equipped with a microphone that bought their voices right into our ears meant we did not need to stay very close to hear the history, stories, and cultural or personal anecdotes along the route. Some of the fabulous places we stopped at included Würzburg’s Bishops’ Residenz, one of Germany’s largest and most ornate baroque palaces, and Bamberg with its medieval city centre and picturesque city hall on a tiny island.

It’s easy to get overloaded with history but with the past balanced with other activities it’s not over-whelming and in Passau, with its narrow streets and Italianate architecture we listened to a concert on Europe’s largest pipe organ. And Vienna – well what can I say – it’s a fabulous city: the Opera House, a concert, and of course a coffee with the famous Austrian chocolate cake, sachertorte at Hotel Sacher are on all must-do lists.

Nightly, just before dinner, Darinka tells us about the next day’s excursion. She peppers her language with words like ‘most appealing, delightful, delicious, divine, scrumptious, yummy, gorgeous, delectable,’ I used the same words for the food!

The evening meal was fine dining at its finest and always started with a tasty appetiser such as a carpaccio of salmon and caviar – daily these unexpected little treats whetted our appetites for the three courses that followed, and unlike ocean cruises, wine is included with all meals. Tables seat four to eight and we were free to sit where we wanted – the moaners on the trip didn’t like that either.

Food is essential to culture and the choice of a more informal lunch setting on the front deck appealed to me: these meals specifically focused on the local regions food: sausage, kraut, and beer featured one day and of course on other days, strudel or black forest cake appeared mid-afternoon. We’re told ‘Hungarians, Austrians and Germans do not count calories. Butter and full-fat milk rules.’

On these eco-friendly vessels, as well as the chess set and sun loungers on the upper deck, there are solar panels and an organic herb garden where I often met one of the chefs cutting a few herbs for our next meal. The little group of grouches were also very upset that this sundeck was lowered for a few days so the boat could sail under low bridges.

As a nosey writer, just as I’d asked fellow travellers about their cruising preferences, I also ask the crew. Not one favoured the sea-cruise. With low passenger numbers on the longships they get to know their guests better. They also tell me ‘at sea there are queues for everything. You never get to talk to passengers; we just deal with an issue and onto next person in the long line.’

The flat-bottomed ship was amazingly quiet and most of us did not read as much as we’d expected as we were always watching life along the river. There’s a saying that ‘it’s the journey not the arrival that matters’ and river cruising epitomises that. This is life in the slow lane, sailing along at a gentle pace, soaking up the scenery, and learning as you go, seeing the highlights of places and meeting, mostly, great people.

So, if you fancy dawdling down the Danube, relaxing on the Rhine, or meandering along the snake-like Main, I can well-recommend this way of exploring. Perfect.

Fast facts:

Viking River Cruises: www.vikingrivercruises.com.au

Cruises available in Europe, Russia, Asia.

Wellington Airport terminal in top 4 in world

Wellington Airport wins yet another award as ‘one of the worlds top terminals’

“Travel Guide Frommers.com has listed its best and worst airport terminals around the world.

Wellington’s Airport’s ‘The Rock’ terminal comes in fourth best – ahead of the likes of JFK Airport’s terminal 5 in New York, and Changi International Airport in Singapore.”

…and I fly out of The Rock today – then watch for photos from my Viking river cruise, sailing  from Amsterdam to Budapest for two weeks – then a few days in Prague before returning home to write stories about my travels (and of course continuing with my Northland, Christchurch, Canterbury tales)

Thanks to Wellington Airport for these photos

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